King Charles enduring my worst nightmare

We plodder-parents – the ones who can’t provide trust funds, yachts, designer togs and surnames that guarantee instant access to international VIP enclaves – could feel smug, but we don’t. Even if we’ve somehow managed to maintain cordial relations with our own offspring, we are desperately sorry for King Charles and the Beckhams. They are enduring our worst nightmare. We know Harry’s feud with his father is seismic and ferociously public, sending waves of hurt and embarrassment coursing through the Royal Family.

We understand Brooklyn Beckham’s failure to show up to any of his father’s 50th birthday extravaganzas doesn’t measure up in force or scale to Harry’s exposing his closest relatives’ “shortcomings” and private conversations in his book Spare – as well as hostile salvoes in interviews with everyone from Oprah to the BBC – but when a child exiles himself from the group and exudes resentment, jealousy or downright malice, the effect on the entire family is a devastating schism.

Just imagine David and Victoria, hosting the Ramsays, Eva Longoria and a batch of A-list chums at glittering fête champêtre on several continents, knowing all the while their oldest son and his wife have chosen not to attend the festivities.

Imagine going through the rigmarole of blowing out the candles, necking vintage champers and bopping around the dancefloor while smarting inwardly from the unkindest snub of all. Your child, flesh of your flesh, apple of your eye, adored and nurtured from the moment of birth has chosen not to grace the celebration of your half-century on the planet with his presence.

Imagine King Charles, never knowing when Harry (or Meghan) will burst into a court or studio and vent their spleen. Imagine being blamed and shamed, judged and found wanting, without the right to reply.

We don’t need to have it explained that Charles, Camilla, David and Victoria will never retaliate. They won’t summon Emily Maitlis and give her chapter and verse on all the ways in which they tried to enfold their erring sons. They won’t list the cash they have handed over, the support and encouragement they have bestowed or bewail the sins and slights of their sons.

The Windsors and the Beckhams don’t appear to care about “putting their side of the story”. All they want, I’m sure, is a rapprochement and to have their children and grandchildren under with them, having fun together.

Becks and the King are said to get on famously. I wonder if they will be consoling one another?